Leader’s Water Cooler – Keeping Innovation Alive.
The Leader’s Water cooler started in March 2020 right after most of us were quarantined at home. It’s for leaders who wants to learn, share and connect with other leaders across industries and at all levels. To explore what and how leaders are doing and thinking. It will continue through July 2020. Send an email to request an invite.
Why? This is inspired by you the Leaders and Coaches who are doing amazing things. It’s a place to learn, explore and validate what is working.
Middle managers in business are inspiring and motivating just by their heroic daily and often unspoken or unacknowledged work. How they rose to the challenges, how they solved everyday problems and keep doing it. They pivoted again and again. It is been difficult to keep up with the unknown and rapid changes. Jobs are being redefined again and again. Going virtual is wearing us out. It’s not easy and some parts work really well.
Some team members are over performing, over interacting and some are disappearing and under performing. We are becoming more ADD like. When we give into the fear and anxiety of the unknown it becomes harder.
When we work together, we can figure out how to handle every day and big challenges. Leaders are moving forward. We know how. We can address it. The world needs leaders and coaches now even more than ever!
Here’s some gems from the Water Cooler:
- Pivot is the new buzzword. Consciously create and empower others to what you will pivot to. Choreograph it, say it, write it, discuss it and don’t get attached to it. You may be pivoting again in an hour or day or week or month. (from #6)
- American culture is one of short-term thinkers. We as leaders are now first reaching out and making it personal. Will this create a new American Culture? A kinder and gentle culture. Leaders are giving and showing more caring and compassion. There is more opportunities to share and show compassion now. Not everyone wants it or will take you up on it. This is a strong reminder of people first. (from #5)
- Intention is the relationship between boundaries and mindfulness. Living in the moment with intention is what we need now. And give us a pass for staying in jammies all day! Help yourself first. Leaders put your oxygen mask first. Learn to create a better mindset and teach others how to. (from #4)
- We are creating a positive and sustainable future from Chaos. Do not be in a rush to create a new normal. Give ourselves permission to slow down. This is trauma. Give ourselves space and permission to reflect and realize it is a long haul. (from #3)
- Many silver linings are emerging. How do you as a leader serve? (from #2)
- Little things we took for granted have become challenges. Gratitude helps. (from #1)
Summary Notes:
#1 – Leading the Unknown, March 20th
#2 – Keeping it Real; Silver Linings, March 27
#3 – My new Normal. Settling in, April 2nd
#4 – What are important now for you and the people you work with? April 10th
#5 – How to push and when to back off and provide emotional, April 17
#6 – Pivot, the New Buzzword, April 24
#7 – What have you learned (or know to be true) and how to you help other learn? May 2
#8 – Planning with Uncertainty: What works, what are you doing the same? Or different? What assumptions are you putting in place? May 8
#9 – Reclaiming and Entering Back into the Workplace May 15
#11 – Trust. May 22
#12 – How to Handle Emotional Equity and Emotions in General in the Workplace.
#13 – Emotions at Work
#13 – Emotions at Work
Here’s the TED talk I mentioned about the Dr who had the stroke and studied herself as she had it. It’s a great illustration of the left and right sides of our brain. Here’s a quote from the TED talk, “
I am Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, intellectual, neuroanatomist. These are the “we” inside of me. Which would you choose? Which do you choose? And when? I believe that the more time we spend choosing to run the deep inner peace circuitry of our right hemispheres, the more peace we will project into the world and the more peaceful our planet will be.” Here’s the TED Talk – https://www.ted.com/talks/jill_bolte_taylor_my_stroke_of_insight
Emotions last 90 seconds or less, what do you do with them and how to manage them?
Covid-19 and the political divide in the USA is causing fear, anxiety, frustration, stress and more, lots of negative emotions, for some more than others. How do we as leaders handle the emotions at work, respectfully and authentically?
As a co-active coach, I talked about coaching emotions, the highs, and lows. Not stepping over them, not judging, acknowledging, and validating them. As a person that is the hardest part for me (personal story told, that I’ll blog about later). Here’s a coaching reference for emotions: https://partners.coactive.com/CTI-learning-hub/intermediate/process/res/PRO-E-Motion.pdf
Classification of Emotion – Here’s some basic one: Happy, Sad, Anger, Fear, Love, Loneliness, Joy, Jealousy………
There is a WIDE range of emotions out there.
Copyright Jack Ford incredible newsletter, words matter.
The last newsletter broke down Martin Luther King’s and The King’s Speech.
Simplifying it to Greed and Fear
Love and Absence of Love
Fear at work. Fear at going out.
We are all here together, you are never alone.
Tremendous trust gained by putting words to our emotions.
Respecting and acknowledging all emotions.
Working with children a visual picture of 20 faces so that kids can point to which face. Learning to label and validating and no judgement. Acknowledge and validate and ask – where do you want to be?
Pent up fear, lots on edge.
Need to give ourselves space.
Humor helps.
When you know what you can control, it helps you to know how to respond
Two people show up at airport, their flight is canceled – same situation.
One choice to read a book, one choice to argue and stay mad. Story from Deepak Chopra.
We have choice. A gift, a skill, empathy.
Gratitude is a way to shift out fear and negative emotions.
Many leaders/companies try to flatten emotions, monotone, which removes passion.
Let people know when you appreciate something.
Emotions are hard and not easy for everyone.
Hard to argue when you are happy and have a real smile on your face.
Positive mindset helps, it contagious.
Leaders validate feelings. Help them feel safe by listening and not judging.
The calmer and peaceful you are authentically the more attraction.
With masks on we look at eyes to see if people are smiling.
Look at world leaders and get inspired from them.
Marilee – Mindfulness, and destressing more of it. We are training to be better at handling emotions. There is no band-aid. A call for action to build up organizational and individual resilience skill-building.
Words matter. Organizations and leaders can help to diminish fear.
Terri – Muscle memory. Practice. Even if it’s a few mindful minutes in a day. Keep adding a little everyday.
Eric – Help others by validating and give people ways to take actions so they feel they are contributing.
Summary:
Help people not be paralyzed, take small steps, validate, taking action acknowledging and words matter
#12 – How to Handle Emotional Equity and Emotions in General in the Workplace.
Many societal issues that this is triggering. Unemployment varies from state to state benefits. Under the table, cash, gig economy. Society issues re being magnified.
Anxiety, stress, depression, resentment are being seen more and reported more by medical professionals.
What can we as leaders do?
- EAP – email with how to contact employee assistance programs.
- More places where we can connect, virtual lunches
- Ask and listen
- Top leaders communication
- Show your vulnerability as a leader
- Find the best practices leaders do
- Get clear on the why you are here
Structure missing. Create structure. Communication new rules and behavior.
Moment of trust and transparency.
We can throw everything up in the air and decide how we want it to come back down.
Parallel’s with 911 and the lessons afterward.
In the scope of human history, Corona is not like the plague. It puts things in perspective and makes me feel grateful. In our immediate world right now Corona is tragic.
Collective Final Thoughts
Recognize that not everyone is in the same place and show respect and flexibility.
Look at the gold leadership standards and practices and try that!
Leaders Water Cooler #11 – Trust, May 22nd.
Trust Definition = a firm belief in reliable truth, ability or strength of someone or something.
Business goes faster when there are trusting relationships.
Two types of trust: character and competence. (who they are and what they do)
Trust in position? Does it exist anymore or is it generational? People used to just trust your doctor and do what they say.
Trusting someone maybe knowing what is motivating them. Person first, position next.
With Covid, things are moving so fast we have to check the dates on the facts to trust facts.
No longer does having a title and education guarantee trust, must now also have trusted relationship.
Power and position are motivators for some, not always trusted.
Collaboration goes at the speed of trust.
We have to trust the motivation. Sometimes a person’s internal motivation doesn’t align with their behaviors and methods. For example, her motivation was quality, her communication wasn’t clear and came out as not trusting.
Before becoming a people manager, I was trusted. Now I have to work harder to be trusted.
Navigating worldwide with people we don’t know and might not see is harder to build trust.
A litmus trust now for leaders is how well are they handling the current unknown and fears
What are leaders doing to build trust?
- Reach out personal
- Make it more personal
- Communicate more often
- Leaders are becoming more vulnerable
- Virtual Town Halls, different leaders talk regularly
- More asking, how are we feeling
- Giving people choices engenders trust
- More emotional leadership
- More checking in
Observation: In general, a more feminine leadership style is emerging. Stronger relationships being built and more caring and empathy
Words of Wisdom
Erica – takes more position to create trust when you are in a position of power
Marilee – Servant Leadership is more important now. The bully pulpit is dead (or wounded)
Maria – One must pay equal attention to intention and to impact to maintain trusting relationships
Clare – Trust is essential to be successful in business. Difficult situations handled well builds trust
Star – Make trust tangible and sure the intent and intention is visible and constantly
#9, May 15 – Reclaiming and Entering Back into the Workplace
CDC Guidelines –
https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/community/guidance-business-response.html
https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/community/reopen-guidance.html
https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/downloads/community-mitigation-strategy.pdf
Discussion
Range of ultra-cautious people to those who have no care, that we as leaders must deal with.
A whole new set of social norms out there, coffee, shopping, bathrooms, temperature checks before coming in, tape on the floor, staggering office hours, keep meeting doors open
Meet people where they are, emotionally, physically. Be clear and commute often.
Should not let fear rule our life. Recognizing it and acknowledge it in you as the leader too. It’s ok to say, “I’m fearful too be vulnerable.”
Some things people are doing: hiring cube walls, making stairwells one way, removing public creamers and coffee pots.
As a leader be aware of who is the most cautious.
What if I am more cautious then the office norms? I am going to tell my group what my comfort zone is.
Humor, self-deprecating humor. Have jokes ready when not comfortable. Make a game out of it – who is the most cautious.
Respect all and start with who is having the most trouble with this.
What do you say when someone comes into too close? Communication, lots of it. Have group meetings on it, make the implicit explicit.
Be open to listening to all ideas and still wanting to keep my bubble around me.
Non-judgmental, curious, respectful humor, learn, apologize all needed now.
It’s ok to say, “Sorry we are practicing social distancing here.”
Leaders have to keep it alive, repeat, communication, follow through.
Final Advice, Thoughts, Resources
Jane – don’t be judgmental and use humor
Claire – Know your associates and speak and say the why we are doing what we are
Erica – Have a conversation up front and leading by example. Support the most cautious.
Terri – Caring, Compassion and Curiosity – 3 C’s! is a great approach
Sandy – Understand and know your team. Constant communication and reminders and that there is a spectrum.
Kathleen – Use the CDC guideline as a neutral and good set of guidelines.
#8 Planning with Uncertainty: What works, what are you doing the same? Or different? What assumptions are you putting in place?
Alexandre’s dentist who did an excellent job as a leader communicating their response to Covid-19 and making us feel safe (4 minute video) – https://www.dropbox.com/s/6dkweo0af53gzkl/Boston%20Dental%20Message%20Video.mp4
Marilee’s story, her son survived Covid-19, which promoted our discussion on silver linings (story and 20 second video) – https://thingstodoinplymouthma.com/plymouth-native-son-survives-covid-19/
Planning definition = Creating structures to get to desired outcome
I’m (Star) a planning agnostic and a tool junkie. The structures and processes to get something done are tools to achieve a result. Pick the right tools for the result desired. Result = goal, intention, scope, outcome…. Pick your word.
Planning is predicting the future. The more you know the easier and more reliably can you predict the future.
When it’s unknown (like Covid-19) check your assumptions and make plans A,B,C, D… Z
A goal properly set is halfway achieved. (Abe Lincoln or Zig Ziglar)
Must plan for the unknown. Plans are the pathway to achieving goals.
Waterfall and Agile planning process people can be hung up on their planning process is the best. Both have value and are needed.
When your product/service is people flexibility and agility are important.
One of the biggest areas we as leaders need to plan for is returning to work. A key requirement is making it safe (physically) and making it feel safe (emotionally). There are liability issues too.
Productivity for some became higher when everyone went home. What happens and how can we keep productivity up when they come back to work?
New way of being, is understanding that everything can shift and change in a minute at work! Everyone is a project manager, whether we formally have the title or not.
The goal of keeping a company’s profitable in this environment has been fascinating. There is no consistency from company to company, industry to industry.
What tools do you need right now as a leader to plan? Tools that are agile, flexible, and deal with unknowns.
Company cultures are changing to become one of more collaboration and handling change. We need to work together even though we are alone at home. We must plan for collaboration.
Make early decisions when you can. It helps reduce anxiety and people know what to do.
We believe our tech conference will be better attended and possibly better because we have a longer time to create a new capability.
What assumptions and decisions can you make now? Do it to reduce anxiety.
Eliminate fear factor by communication, lots. Be specific what did you do and how did you work to make it safer. Check out Alexandria dentist video. He did everything right. it relieves fear and is becoming a leader for dentists. https://www.dropbox.com/s/6dkweo0af53gzkl/Boston%20Dental%20Message%20Video.mp4
Started with why (e.g. dentist video) when planning.
Go beyond what HR and facilities are doing to make it safe. What else do you need to consider as a leader, emotional, physical to make people be and feel safe?
Reassuring hearing from our CEO every week and if and when we go back it will be our decision and that everything is in place.
In this environment, good leadership is magnified. The traditional way of top-down doesn’t work.
Agility and respect are given to leaders who acknowledge vulnerability. Society is turned upside down. Lots of opportunities to engender trust and the ability to admit to change. Check out Brene Brown’s work on leadership and vulnerability. (Ted Talk and Book)
Final Thoughts
Dan – There are opportunities and possibilities for making things better. Keeping people’s thoughts and feelings in the forefront is key so they can be productive and feel safe.
Kathleen – Plan for uncertainty. Do parallel planning. It’s not linear. There is inertia and shifting that impacts at all levels. Sometimes it takes a while before it’s spoken and acknowledged at all levels.
Erica –Attended a really productive large virtual meeting that made decisions. Find a way to replicate what we do face to face. She was on a Zoom call with 30-40 people. The leader talked to everyone ahead and had a tool to vote yes or no and showed us the results in real-time. Also allowed time for discussion. It takes work upfront to make it work virtually and tools that support the goals. (decision making, discussion)
Eric – We can operate businesses that are not paralyzed. One key is to make early decisions, it reduces anxiety.
Maria – We’ve been doing lots of talking about planning. It’s a time of contingency planning. Do it with trust and It’s ok to be tentative. Throw out ideas. Open communication. It’s ok to be wrong. Communication how definitive or not a plan or decision is.
Laurie – Start with a why. This has made us lean. We are now thinking more strategically. When we focus on the major things say why. We are also planning more often and pivoting a lot. We are uncomfortable and doing more. Be willing to learn new things and to put yourself out (don’t hide). Shorter and more planning cycles.
Alexandra – Understand your scope first, your goals, your whys. Part of the scope these days is the fear factor. It must be part of the scope.
Janet – Plan for the unknown. Be flexible. Reset as new information comes in. Build in flexibility to plans.
Marilee – 6% of people are natural planner. 94% are not natural planners. There are lessons from the insurance business we can apply to today. Insurance is an intangible offering. Use personal stories to convince people to plan.
Star – Plan for the intangibles (feeling safe, fear, trust). An article I wrote in 2013 on planning for intangibles – https://starleadership.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/FinalPMIPaper2013NewOrleans.pdf
#7 – What have you learned (or know to be true) and how do you help others learn? May 2
Lot of professional and personal lessons. Large and small lessons and validation. It’s important to reflect and identify to reinforce lessons learned.
Technical people and academics have lots to say and talk a lot. I’ve learned the importance of listening and being patient with them.
Learning to listen to what is NOT being said and creating space for what is NOT being said.
Creating a “sacred pause” for 30-seconds of breathing. This allows for all types of thinkers and cultures to bring in, speak up, and process better. Sacred is not a word often used in business. We are seeing more spirituality being brought into mainstream business.
Importance of movement, one facilitator asked each person to do 25 jumping jacks after about 45 minutes of meeting, alternative 25 punching the screen.
We and many others are enjoying and finding new ways to do things.
Amazed at how much people want to learn. Be prepared and don’t assume everyone wants to learn.
You don’t need to travel to see people and have fun.
It’s important to connect with people everyday (for some). When connecting it’s important to reach out personally (not mass emails or generic social media posts)
Sometimes people don’t know how to figure out or say what they learned. How do we help them?
- Summarize complex points
- Send documentation ahead of time
- Be active in groups to get clarity
- Distill complex information
- Question terminology and meanings and translate
- Inspections, let them see, be specific
- Instead of asking, what did you learn – ask what do you like?
Personal side:
- I have more food in the house than I think I do
- We are getting creative with food lots of fun meals, like all frozen appetizers
- Love fresh produce – using Misfits, organic fruit delivered to your door. Fruit that was rejected by grocery stores.
- Hate cleaning and love a clean house
- Appreciation of friends and family and seeing them more
- Love playing games and doing puzzles – doing that more
Antonia – Be patience and listen for what you are not hearing
Maria – Be gentle with yourself and others and create space
Star – Force engagement. Know when to be bossy and insist on things like, turn on your video.
#6 – Pivot the New Buzzword
Covid-19 is forcing us to Pivot. What does Pivot mean? What/How do we Pivot?
- Mechanically a single point that creates change
- Putting fundamental changes in place
- Dancing is a pivot step; it creates a purposeful shift in a direction
- Avoids traveling in basketball when you pivot your foot
- It’s a startup methodology – design experiments that eliminate negative result
- Failing fast and pivoting fast
- In analysis work there is Pivot tables. A way to look at data in a new way
Pivot is change, which causes resistance and is uncomfortable
In the startup world entrepreneurs are so focused that they ignore information that says it might be a bad idea, by pivoting fast and breaking it down to a hypothesis it quickly eliminates negative outcomes.
Pivoting requires changing our mindset. First get clear on the idea, goal, intention and test it.
People are anxious to do, to be in action, that can create tunnel vision and attachment to an outcome or idea.
How do we lose the tunnel vision and pivot (and help others doing the same)?
- Slow down
- Speak to the why first
- Question the why and re-validate it first and often
- Look up so we don’t forget what goes on around us
- Accept that external event that we can’t control
- Accept external events have their own time frame, not ours!
- Encourage the journey and see what’s new along the way
- Taking it one step at a time
- Remind people that getting attached to ideas or programs makes the pivoting hard
- Acknowledge the need to change and that it’s hard to get to the new place
- Focus on the ideal or the outcome, the future
- Do future visualization – what would it look like when the pivot is done?
As we pivot the gap is becoming wide as some are pivoting and some are not
Technology and range of experience is getting wider
Not having a camera made me feel so left out!
Interesting how fast we change when we have to!
People are doing things they haven’t’ done before.
This is a fundamental change, that is externally driven. We are forced as leader to change. The only question what can we control and how do make it work?
- Slow down to have conversation
- Talk about possibility
- Talk about the outcomes.
- Try many hypothesis
- Learn to identify when tunnel vision is in place
- Consciously create the pivoting we want.
Advice/Resource/Thoughts
Antonia, State of Mass/DPH – My job completely pivoted in 24 hours, still trying to figure it out. Supporting 12 academic institutes, 1900 volunteers in responding to the and 351 towns in Mass. regarding public health. They needed case tracing, separating myth from fact. I have not had a chance to mourn my previous job. Putting the mourning on hold. In CTC, community tracking collaborative, we use the word pivot in every conversation we have had. Helping to continue to celebrate successes and look to the next way to support local public help (rapid changes). My colleagues have been amazing at rising to the occasion. What you chose to focus on defines you. We’ve had to make decisions quickly based on the focus and the future. We need to insure privacy. We are having to adjusting to webex and zoom life. Finding alternative measures. What we focus on is what defines how we move ahead.
Elaine, https://holisticpmc.com/ – Always on the run and pivoting. Reminds me of I love Lucile pivoting all the pie plates! Thirteen years worked at home. I’m learning to watch and sense what people are going through. Letting people have their moment what they are experiencing and just be there in case they need. I letting people be where they need to be.
Eric, TEL – Pivot from the what to the why. We want to answer the question of why. This has been a great opportunity to empower others. What you look for is inflections in the business to give you opportunities. Covid-19 has taken us out of the office noise, allow us to have quiet time, time to slow down. I found this as an opportunity to empower. Instead of giving tasks, let people answer the why and when they do, they define the what. It gets more buy-in. People are being energized by discovering the why.
Pankaj, Kronos – It’s amazing how people have adjusted to this new life. I have seen little complaints and it keeps going on and on. The way we are talking to each other is different and amazing. I’m not so great with the changes and worry and amazed at people coping with it in a good way.
Imad, State of Mass, CSD – What are we having a hard time letting go of? We are attached to the usual, it is hard to pivot. It is important to let go and find new structures. No matter how much we like adventure, we need some structure. Letting go can be the hard part.
John, http://www.elamanagementgroup.com/ – I learn new things everyday as this goes on. I thought my business was going to slow down. My business is about change. The demand has been greater because forced change is more stressful. There is fear because we are not driving the change. It will change a lot of things forever.
Janet, Kronos – I see this pivot as a blessing in disguise. I work too much; my family life was taking a back seat. I know now, I can have it all. I like the new me. Without this happening I would not have realized the balance can work. I can be more my true self rather than playing a role. You must choose to be you and then you can have it all.
Sandy, https://www.demarestdirections.com/ – I’m always running around and I’m now much more reflective and creative. There is more space to get things done. We can now all be a choreographer and plan what that dance will be. Embrace pivot, be intentional. Open to new possibilities and the silver linings.
Laurie, Mass/CSD – With bad comes lots of good. The good I’m seeing is eating better and exercising more. I’m connecting on a deeper level with people more. Our exercise class is now through zoom and now through the virtual connection we are having conversations before and after the class. This will become the new normal. This is an example of a positive change.
Karen, Author of Get Equipped: 7 Steps to a Overcoming Depression and Living the Optimum Life –
What you focus on magnifies. In this time everyone of us pivots, resets and reprioritizes and thinks about what is important. We are looking at all areas of lives. Love Blue Apron for meals! Working out with Beach Body on Demand. It is forcing a reset on who you want to be. Focus on the silver living and see the blessings. It is healthy to have a safe place to vent. I did some Oz principle training, must have a place to vent and then go back above the line. Commit to going back above the line.
Star, www.starleadership.com – Consciously pick what you are pivoting too. Say it, write it, share it, examine it and don’t be attached to it. Don’t be afraid to pivot again. Create a positive pivot mindset. Have a safe place you can bitch and complain and handle it and shift to gratitude. This is a great time to build a strong gratitude muscle. Book Recommendation: 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership by Jim Dethmer, Diana Chapman, Kaley Klemp
#5 – How to push and when to back off and provide emotional, April 17
Pivot has become the new Buzz Word!
Here’s the silver lining story I shared earlier – with a happy ending. A business coach Marilee’s son was one of the first who went on a ventilator for Covid-19. She called it a silver lining is that he got sick early, as he was fighting for his life. https://thingstodoinplymouthma.com/plymouth-native-son-survives-covid-19/
What do you need to do or say before someone can focus on business?
Many people are holding back out of fear, culture and just not knowing what to ask for.
How do you as the leader use intuition to probe further?
- Give permission to let them talk about it.
- Ask what’s going on?
- Ask what do you need to do now?
- Ask specific questions.
- Connect as a person first
- Make yourself vulnerable and share first a personal challenge.
Many corporate environments and cultures dictate that you leave your personal stuff at the door. Corporate cultures are having to evolve and move beyond this.
Find the balance of what is appropriate and personal to share.
People are not as actively flaunting I can go someplace else – big change from a month ago.
Productivity is not slowing down. People are working really hard.
We are having to encourage them to not burn out and take care of them self and take time to deal with the harsh situation. The good ones are working harder.
Leaders are having to tell people to relax.
Our leaders are online 24×7. Keep reminding them to take a break.
No separation of work and personal.
Communication channels are overwhelming up. Too many ways of communication. Try create a stakeholder chart and list media/ways to communication (phone, text, email, messenger, slacker, …..)
American culture is one of short term thinkers. We as leaders are now first reaching out and making it personal. Will this create a new American Culture? A kinder and gentle culture. Leaders are giving and showing more caring and compassion. There is more opportunities to share and show compassion now. Not everyone wants it or will take you up on it. This is a strong reminder of people first.
Advice/Resources/Thoughts
Jeff – Ask specific, not open-ended question, to learn more about you. E.g. How’s your mom doing? Use sincere questions specifically related to the individual. Know them as a person.
Danielle – MERP = Mentally, Emotionally, Relationship, Physically. MERP acronym to ground everyone and start each meeting to settle all.
Terri – More kindness and compassion. Take a few minutes for self-care. People are more productive and focused when doing self-care.
Howard – Build trust. When in fear state, we don’t do our best. Two Books recommended: Crucial Accountability and the Speed of Trust by Stephen R Covey. When we connect in a sincere and accountable way it build trust. Slow down and take the time build trust.
Alexandra – Human beings a e not meant to be isolated. By nature, we like each other. We need physical contact. Remember separation creates angst. To save each other we need to be apart and we desire each other. Unnatural. We are not designed to be by ourselves.
Eric S –We get through things when people ask for help. Yet, there is a black and white way of thinking, leave your personal stuff at the door. It’s a different way of understanding now. Being authentic and building trust takes a long time. How do you build that trust and have more personal conversation about this when it’s against your culture or nature? It’s hard. Recognizing it’s hard and start to build trust.
Eric K – Refreshing to see similar points of view. Fighting for a different way.
Erica – We have an obligation to create more opportunities to encourage people to slow down and take care of themselves.
Janet – Start where someone is at. Learn to know when someone is not fully engaged and stop and find out. When you help people through things it’s clears the path to work. Give them permission to work through the personal stuff. Know what the handoff points are: EAP, managers, …
Star – Don’t be afraid to let go of your agenda and how you do something in service of supporting yourself and others.
#4 – What are important now for you and the people you work with? April 10th
We are all having various forms of melting down and building back up again. How much do we share and with who?
Adjusting to new way of doing everyday things with masks, wipes, gloves, distancing. (these are all forms of boundaries)
Personal and professional boundaries are blurring.
Teachers encouraged to have zoom background contest and use virtual background so it’s more equal footing.
Building up our offices to have higher quality video’s: Microphones, Green Screen.
Getting more relaxed, some people doing zoom on their large HD TV’s !
Virtual background is a type of boundary to keep people out of our houses.
Training as a social worker included boundary trainings helped to prepare for this.
Have to challenge self if a boundary is necessary, sometimes too rigid in what can/will personally sharing.
Have to constantly analysis what boundary is right for each situation.
More flexibility and analysis needed of boundaries.
Working at home, people feel it’s ok to call anytime, some family and friends harder to say no.
Leaders training groups to call between a certain time, e.g. 10-12, windows of available
Really busy people are overload and some have completely stopped.
If you know of someone who is not busy and don’t know what to do reach out and connect.
We as leaders want to get the message out, if you need 10 minutes to call/cry/laugh/vent.
Walk outside, call for 2 minutes.
New rule in considering boundaries, put people first. Help them find meaningful work.
Match your personality to the boundaries you create.
Have a thing that grounds you or sets the tone for the day for you, different for everyone: mediation, gratitude, exercise, yoga.
Secret to staying calm, don’t get out bed without thinking about what I am grateful for. Bring it deliberately into daily routine. A shampoo that we love the smell. Deliberately smell and sense, notice the water. Mindfulness takes only 30 section. We get rote, add mindfulness in. Start the day and end it with gratitude. Practice makes it easier. Call Terry for building your mindful skills!!
Start the day earlier and create a beautiful habit/structure/place by yourself. Hard to separate work and personal life now.
Intention is the relationship between boundaries and mindfulness. Living in the moment with intention is what we need now. And give ourselves grace for staying in jammies all day! Help yourself first. Leaders put your oxygen mask first. Take a shower and get dressed first! Makes a better mindset.
Advice or Resources
Sandy – Self-care and boundaries is so important now. Be aware when you are on autopilot mode, you are not as effective then. Be intentional.
Terri – Number on, be gracious with yourself and you can be gracious with others. This is stressful. Sometimes you don’t need to solve a problem, just listen. So grateful for all the leaders.
Marie – Setting an intention. Get yourself started in whatever way fills you. What will set my day up in whatever way you want. What can I do every morning that I can count on? Write down your routine.
Maria – Be gentle with yourself and how much you are getting done. Nap ministry. Restorative power of naps. It’s ok to not be driven. Naps are not for lazy people.
Star – Don’t judge others some will over achieve some will take naps. Both are fine. During this time of uncertainty I’m finding that our core values are great guideposts for making decisions on the action. Getting clear on who you are and acting in alignment with that. It’s a time to reflect and reset.
Many free webinars from Positive Psychology on Thriving – https://mappalum.org/Strategies-to-thrive
#3 – My new Normal. Settling in, April 2nd
Struggling to get balance. Working non-stop. Too much focus on Work or not enough. Struggling to get resources. Video Camera has a long delivery time.
What’s the label to describe now?
- Too soon to say, “New Normal”.
- Throwing out label of new normal.
- Creating from Chaos. -Thanks Howard!
- Creating a positive and sustainable future from Chaos.
Give ourselves permission. This is trauma. Give ourselves space and permission to realize it’s a long haul.
Big rush to get control and get a handle on it.
Rush for leader to get stuff done.
Chaos right now in many worlds.
Things will emerge. Many people don’t feel any normalcy.
How do we adapt? Some of us are out of business.
New Reality. Changes happen every minutes.
We have plan a,b,c,…z and what if, what if, what if.
We are being tested at how fast we can adapt and pivot because there is not clarity. Is it close? Is it serious? How does it impact me?
Three groups for leaders to handle:
- Commuters (have extra time)
- Have a challenging at home situation
- Front line workers
Becomes realer and realer as it hits us personally
Leader always check to make sure our people are taken care of. We as leaders must now take care of ourselves. More conscious of boundaries and transition to take care of self.
Leaders need support of other like you. Finding your tribe where you can be real is important. Where can you as leaders get real emotional support and deal with it.
Personal and professional lives are now mashed together.
Harder to structure and look into the future. It’s more about real time and having to do more frequently readjust the structures from minute to minute or day to day. Constant reassessing and re-prioritizing.
As leader recognizing where everyone is on the spectrum of normal.
Tips
- Recognize when someone on your team has more productive time. (e.g. kids nap time)
- Find and make clear our boundaries and the people who work for us. Make it visible, when you are “working” or not.
- Create open office hours, e.g. 10-12 m-f, or shared lunch on Tuesdays. Daily huddles every 9am to check in.
Advice/Tips/Resources
Star – Learn how to use the tools and how to work virtually.
Free from Zoom: https://support.zoom.us/hc/en-us/articles/206618765-Zoom-Video-Tutorials
Deeper Dive from Zoom Queen: Zoom Like a Boss: https://www.bizreinventlive.com/zoom-like-a-boss
Carole – Now is not the time to be hard on yourself. Eat brownies. Let go of perfect. Give yourself space to get through.
Tanya – Reach out to people you haven’t connect with in many years.
Howard – Helpful as a leader to design which platforms we use for what types of communication. For example: If a phone rings I will pick it up.
Janet – Always know what’s really important. Being in the moment.
Gohar – Appreciating the time with your family. Shut off the news for some time.
Pam – Boundaries. Use time to go within and figure out what works for us and our people.
Eric – Keep it simple. Allow little things to surface. Proactively reinventing structure and boundaries.
#2 – Keeping it Real; Silver Linings, March 27
Physically distancing not social distancing!
We need to see each other. Try a screen save and share it of team members
Joke: We used to cough to cover farts, now we fart to cover coughs.
We are at war and we are dealing with this.
Save the chat on zoom, three little dots – “save chat”
Careful where your camera goes ?
- Sandy Silver Lining Summit (Business and Personal Development) –https://silverliningsummit.com
- More connected, more relying on other
- Bring us closer together co-worker, families, couples and deepens relationships
- Connecting us in a way, not that we would choose, but coming out the other side deeper
- Making people adaptability more because of the change
- We were more prepared what we knew, nobody lost their job
- Creativity has improved
- More voices being heard
- Amazing how it’s helped people to adapt so fast
- Learning how to be virtual and use new tools
- Thankful for what we have now, everyday
- More time for strategy when working of home
- More time to reflect
- More time with family and pets at home
- Less sidetracked and more focused
- No long commutes in traffic
- More aware of other people
- More connecting to neighborhood.
- Six feet at six. Stand outside at six to make sure all ok.
- Taking better care of each other
- Teddy bear hunt, put teddy bear in windows
- More emphasis on STEM now
Advice to Leaders
Howard (Leadership Coach) Find out from your teams when each person’s peak performance time is. Map that on a calendar and then so everybody on the team can have a sense of where everybody else is during that day. Some of us are morning people and some now might work at 10 at night when the kids are asleep. You know, so to get a sense of that people
Sandy (YAP Coach) Take this opportunity to personally connect with your team. Personal connection builds a stronger working relationship.
Chereese (Software Service Manager) Set boundaries. It’s easy to work all the time. Set the time that you are actually working and with your family and stick to it.
Terri (Mindfulness Coach) Acknowledge your discomfort. Know that there are people willing to help. Exercise that gratitude muscle at least twice a day. It does change your brain, it’s amazing.
Star (Leadership Coach) Replace fear with gratitude and the whole world changes.
Maria (NH Non-profit) Zoom has a lots of great resources, lots of 1-2 minutes videos on how to use. Fun one for teams ishttps://jackboxgames.com/ you can play them over zoom. Drawful2 she’s loving, it’s a cross between Pictionary and Balderdash
Laurie (State of MA) With change there is always opportunity. With bad there is always good. With discomfort there is always growth
Eric (Semiconductor Company) Let’s not allow us to not become a statistic. Read an article on Linked in Joseph Stalin, one dead is a tragedy and a million is a statistic. Are we going to keep our foot on the gas pedal and really change things or compromise? How do we ensure and sustain the positive changes after. All of us must do something and it’s a collective challenge and effort.
From Scott Adams of Dilbert Fame – This is not a spectator sport.
How do you as a leader serve?
#1 – Leading the Unknown, March 20th
Small talk is no longer small talk. Little things were taken for granted have become challenges.
Gratitude eases and helps.
We appreciate the cleaning people, the people on the front line are the doctors, nurses, caregivers and grocery story workers.
We NEED introverts now to show up virtual. Extroverts need them to listen.
Our jobs are shifting as leader and we must pivot and help our team members pivot
Working at home is new to many and there is a need to learn how to do it.
Kids at home, partners/spouses without work makes it hard.
Finding meaningful/purposeful work for our team members is important.
It’s hard to get to productive when safety and change is underfoot.
Erica, Director Marketing/Tech – Pursue and use multiple communication channels
She gave us some great examples of the many she’s using with her team.
Howard, Coach Trainer/Leader – Have no agreed upon agenda for some % of time, depending on your situation. Your millage may vary.
Give people and teams permission to express emotions. Feel them and be there.
Maria, Manager Non-Profit – Learn from Nuns about working at home – https://www.nj.com/opinion/2020/03/im-a-nun-and-ive-been-social-distancing-for-29-years-here-are-tips-for-staying-home-amid-coronavirus-fears.html Hold a Watch Party – www.netflixparty.com
Star – Laugh, Funny Youtube on Virtual Meetings – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYu_bGbZiiQ&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR1r6WyCSPjwUZ9oC26SepisGvoqoS-UHH4lyRqJp4KHKHz-OiqhjP1BOPg
Deal with reality, the unknown and uncertainty from a place of gratitude.
